Nurturing
Nurturing. Let’s talk about nurturing, Let’s talk about what it is, how it helps and what the absence of such a magical feeling has on an individual. Let’s talk about living free, this won’t be much about living free (live free – my favourite motto) as I want to do a separate piece on this. This will be largely on ‘nurturing’.
I despised myself, I’m crippled with insecurities, low self-esteem, self-loathing and pretty much everything else. I fear myself more than anybody else in this world, because I know I am the one who can do the most harm. I can hurt me more than anybody else and boy! Don’t I do the job!
You see, nurturing is imperative to a child or anybody for that matter, to enable them to love themselves, learn to care for themselves, learn to trust themselves and most of all provide them the ability to spread their wings and live free. It should happen when you grow up, nurturing should happen from a young age to provide you with a healthy upbringing and as some might say a ‘healthy mind’. For those who might be confused as to what nurturing is. Nurturing is defined as caring and protecting someone of something that is growing. Which includes empowering, helping and encouragement, cherish them and enable them to live freely, follow their hopes and dreams and eventually go out into this big world be themselves and of course have the confidence to live free. As you can imagine, a absence of this can have everlasting effects. Not only does the individual not feel valued, cherished, loved, nurtured and encouraged but they begin to question who they are as a person, what they are on this earth for, what their purpose is. After all, who has nurtured them to be themselves? How could they possibly know who they are if nobody has moulded them or enabled them to flourish. Of course, this is my experience and opinion. Some may disagree, which is OK.
I have questioned my personality, my purpose, my existence and even love. I have often battled with the concept of the absence of nurturing. You see, absence can come in many forms. You might be encouraged to prevail academically but there is a collapse in the emotional side of things. This lacks one side of nurturing. Another side could be, a lacking of the mental stimulation, mum or dad or spouse might work a lot thus not providing you with some of the stimulation you might need, whether that’s help with work, someone to chat too (which includes emotional) or just simply spending time together.
Absence of nurturing can also cause an individual to deviate in their lives, I don’t just mean turn to crime, gangs, sex, drugs and alcoholism. But also deviate from their existence, they create a false persona, they change their way of thinking, they become absent. I have been, shall we say, ‘victim’ of this. I have changed my personality in order to ‘fit in’ I have changed my way of thinking to blend in with those around me, I have changed my whole demeanour in order to fit in and blend in with my surroundings, like a chameleon I have changed my colours in order to fit.
I think nurturing is overlooked by the fact people just don’t abuse, people think the fact they don’t abuse one another means they’re living in a happy and stable home. This is not the case – an absence of nurturing is in fact a form of abuse.
I know someone, I won’t say names, who has a child. One of the greatest gift’s life could ever present someone with. A life. A beautiful life. A Life we sometimes learn to love more than our own lives. Some people unfortunately don’t get to experience this, but for those that do, they are indeed very blessed. Sadly, some people don’t embrace that and though they are blessed with a beautiful boy or girl they abuse their position.
I know someone, who is very blessed to have a little life, who has brought a young life into this world. This particular person has absolutely no concept of how to nurture a child. They’re young, perhaps too young, mentally and emotionally to have brought a child into the world. But who am I to judge? Anyway, as a bystander I see this child, lack of nurturing, lack of stimulation just pure existence. The child may get attention, toys, excitement but where are the bedtime stories? Nursery rhymes? Kisses? Cuddles? Little sayings like ‘you’re important’ ‘you’re cherished’ ‘you’re loved’. Learning new words, learning phrases, learning sentences. Instead this child is boug
This page was not to bad mouth anyone, it is merely to convey the importance of nurturing and the ability to live free.
Nurturing can happen at absolutely any age, so what I stress is this. If you did not receive it as a child, do not give up, don’t feel that you do not deserve it. You do, you will find it. You need to meet the right person who will in-fact nurture you the way you need. Whether that’s a father figure, mother figure or romantically. You will belong, you will be somebody, you do have a purpose, you do have an existence.
Do not change for anyone or anything. Embrace who you are, faults and all. Life is about acceptance as well as loving and finding ourselves. We must accept in order to move on, yes you had an absence of nurturing, but it does not mean you will not receive it. You most certainly are entitled to it, and you will find it. You need to meet the right person and you will get exactly what you are destined for, surround yourself with the right people. Positivity, happiness, those who accept you for you and you will flourish, you will prevail, you will take this world by storm. Believe in yourself, walk with confidence and others will believe in you too.
If you haven’t been told YET, walk with the knowledge that you are important, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are heard, you are cherished, and you are going to go places. It doesn’t happen naturally you have to work for it, but it will happen. You deserve it and it WILL happen. Above all, Live Free.
Love always
FF
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